I’m already seeing posts on Facebook saying, “Only nine more weeks ’til Christmas.” If you’re one of those people, I’d like to say, go to Hell.
I personally believe there should be a law prohibiting the display of any Christmas decorations or activities until the day after Thanksgiving. Furthermore, all Christmas decorations, activities, music, and any mention of the holiday have to cease after New Years Day.
I am a Grinch. I don’t like Christmas. The only time I’ve ever enjoyed Christmas was for a couple years as a kid, for my own child, and for other people’s children. I’ve enjoyed giving gifts. But for the most part, I’ve only tolerated Christmas. I’m not a Christmas sweater kind of person. I probably draw the least amount of Christmas-themed cartoons of any political cartoonist in the nation. Partly because I don’t like Christmas but I also don’t like worn-out lazy clichés.
Can we get through Halloween before we see Christmas decorations? Can we make it through Thanksgiving before I have to hear “Jingle Bell Rock?” For that matter, how about we get through Election Day first and find out if we’re going to survive as a nation or turn into a totalitarian state with only one actual branch of government that’s built to serve a cult of personality? If this election doesn’t go right, you’re not going to have Jesus’ birthday to celebrate anymore. Instead, we’ll celebrate Donald Trump Day. We’ll celebrate Dear Leader’s birthday like they do in North Korea.
Since this election is scary, you’re allowed to keep your Halloween decorations up through Election Day.
For a lot of people in this nation, Election Day has already happened. It has for me as a voter. As a pundit and professional prognosticator, I’m still waiting. It’s been reported that over 50 million people have already voted. In 2016, the total of all voters was 133 million. For this election, I expect that number to be higher.
For Donald Trump to be elected president in 2016, he had to defeat the most gaslighted person of all time. Hillary Clinton was gaslighted so much, that it elected the likes of Donald Trump to the presidency. But now that Donald Trump has the presidency, he’s doing all he can not to let it go. He’s acting like it’s his choice, not ours, if he stays. For Donald Trump, our presidency, our White House, are just divisions of the Trump Organization and he’s done all he can to make them as corrupt…with a lot of success.
The polls are even worse for Trump in this election than they were in 2016. Donald Trump’s approval has yet to poll above 50% throughout his entire presidency. And this time, he’s running against an old moderate white guy. There’s nothing really scary about Joe Biden. As hard as they’ve tried to gaslight him to the point they did Hillary Clinton, it’s a lot tougher. For starters, they’re 25 years too late and an old moderate white dude is less scary as a president to th electorate than…gasp….a woman.
Joe Biden isn’t just leading in those crucial swing states that flipped for Donald Trump, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania…he’s leading outside the margin of error, which Hillary Clinton did not do. Not only that, but Biden is leading in states that should be secure for Trump like Florida and North Carolina and is even being competitive in Georgia and Texas.
So when I see these polls, I wonder if we can keep it going. Can we get through this election before another October Surprise, another FBI announcement, another military strike, another information drop by Russia, another attempt by Israel to help Trump…or whatever new shit they come up with? All signs are pointing to a massive Joe Biden landslide so naturally, I’m scared shitless that the Republicans and the corruption they’ve installed in our government will steal it.
So I say to Election Day, please…don’t be late.
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