Dirty Trickster Lives Matter

Conservatives are livid and up in arms over the way Roger Stone was arrested last month.

According to Stone, 29 FBI agents and U.S. Marshals were used in the pre-dawn raid to arrest Trump’s longtime adviser last month in Miami. Since this was conducted during Trump’s government shutdown, several of the agents volunteered for the assignment. Who wouldn’t want to arrest a guy with a Nixon tattoo on his back?

Fox News’ Judge Andrew Napolitano called it “Gestapo-like.” Senator and southern dandy Lindsey Graham sent a letter to the FBI demanding they justify their tactics. Sean Hannity wailed about the injustice.

Former Sheriff and pardoned criminal Joe Arpaio decried the use of armored vehicles, even though he once sent one piloted by Steven Seagal to bust a cockfighting ring. Seagal used the footage for a TV show and was later sued by the accused for killing his puppy during the raid. These conservatives are really hard on dogs.

Donald Trump, who once said police should bang criminals’ heads against the top of squad cars as they’re being placed in the back seats, was also upset.

Conservatives claim Stone was not a flight risk, doesn’t own a gun, and isn’t a danger to society. How can law enforcement be confident he’s not a gun owner or a flight risk? How can they be sure he wouldn’t destroy evidence? As for that “danger to society” thing; anyone who helps Russia install a national security risk like Donald Trump into the presidency is a danger to society.

Roger Stone compared his treatment to that of Osama bin Laden, who in case you don’t remember, is now dead and is lying at the bottom of the Indian Ocean. He also compared it to the arrests of El Chapo and Pablo Escobar. El Chapo is currently in prison and on trial, and Escobar, like bin Laden, is dead. The fact that Roger Stone is able to walk freely on the streets right now, breathe air, and issue stupid statements proves his treatment wasn’t anything like bin Laden’s, Escobar’s, or El Chapo.

Stone also said the agents terrified his wife and dogs. I wonder if Seal Team 6 traumatized bin laden’s dogs during their raid. It is nice that animal welfare is now a concern for Roger Stone, who once gave the Wicked Witch warning to a colleague against testifying against him and Trump, promising to get him and his little dog too.

They also complained that CNN was there to film the arrest and accused the FBI of tipping off the network. CNN says they were watching Stone’s home which is very believable as everyone, including Stone, was publicly expecting him to be arrested soon.

Stone is upset he wasn’t able to conveniently schedule his arrest, because rich white guys should be allowed the courtesy to choose how they’re arrested.

This outrage is very selective. Did any of these critics of the FBI defend Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, or the hundreds of other public cases of police brutality against unarmed black men? Did they defend Trayvon Martin who was stalked for wearing a hoodie shortly before he was shot and killed by a wannabe vigilante?

It’s like how they’re upset over the descriptions the MAGA hat-wearing Catholic Covington kids received from the press and celebrities. One of them has hired a lawyer and is threatening to sue a list of news outlets and celebrities for libel, which conservatives are cheering. This is being applauded by the same conservative news outlets that accused David Hogg and other survivors of the Parkland shooting of being “crisis actors.”

Conservatives are so good at selective outrage; they should put in a bottle and market it. I’m sure it tastes like Kool-Aid.

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