Yesterday, I made a huge mistake. I referred to “boofing” as a sex term. Maybe it is and was for Brett Kavanaugh when he was a young man groping women in high school and college, but there’s a much more commonly accepted definition. We’ll get to that.
I don’t know what kind of parent you are, but if your child asks you, “what’s boofing?” you’re probably going to make something up. Maybe you won’t say it’s for flatulence, as Kavanaugh claimed, but maybe something even milder, like…Hell, I don’t know. What else could it mean?
When you intentionally give your child an incorrect answer to protect them, you’re assuming their mind isn’t developed enough to know Mom and Dad is full of it. When you answer this way to another adult, you’re assuming they’re stupid and if they know you’re lying, that they expect you to be stupid enough to believe it.
You probably wouldn’t do this with another adult, less enough a United States Senator. You would think the last person who would try to make that work would be a federal judge.
Brett Kavanaugh is hoping we’re stupid and that we think the same of him while we give him a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. It will be the first time the drunk choir boy defense won over an entire political party. This is what happens when a stupid person nominates another stupid person.
It’s bad enough that Kavanaugh channeled 4chan to defend himself by blaming people bitter over Donald Trump’s stolen election and Hillary Clinton supporters. It’s totally shucking responsibility by blaming the staff of the high school yearbook for all the dumb things about you, like the clubs you’re in.
But, you can’t expect a United States Senator to swallow obviously stupid and lying answers unless that Senator is a Republican, particularly Lindsey Graham.
No one in their right mind will believe “Devil’s Triangle” is a drinking game and not a sex term for two guys and one girl. It’s called “Devil’s Triangle” because of the danger it poses to heterosexual homophobic males that their penises might accidentally touch each other. Truly, the work of Satan. I only know this because I read and I’ve had conversations in bars. The name does not have any connotation to any danger posed to the female. I’m going to guess a guy came up with it.
The “Renate Alumni” is not the name of a group of guys who respect a girl named “Renate.” It’s used to describe Kavanaugh and each of his friends, including Mark Judge, who claimed they had slept with the same girl, who is named “Renate.” There are 14 references to the woman, now named Renate Dolphin, in the Georgetown Prep yearbook from 1983. One of the “alumni” members even wrote the line, “You need a date / and it’s getting late / so don’t hesitate / to call Renate.” Respectful sounding, indeed.
This brings us back to boofing. In the same yearbook, “Beach Week Ralph Club-Biggest Contributor,” is applied to Kavanaugh. He claims he earned the distinction, not from vomiting from excessive drinking, but from his queasy stomach and spicy food. Sure, Delaware is known for tamales. Kavanaugh wrote in the yearbook to Mark Judge, the witness named by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, “Judge—Have You Boofed Yet?” Kavanaugh told a Senator that it’s a reference to flatulence. Apparently, Judge didn’t just have a drinking problem, but he was extremely gassy. You’d think Mark Judge would testify against him just for that. I’d kick my best friend’s ass if he defended himself by telling the entire nation I was a farter.
So, the line, “have you boofed yet?” is supposed to be about farting” who would ask that? Or, is it about vomiting? Or, is it about sex? No. It’s worse. Much, much worse.
Kavanaugh admitted he liked beer and that there have been times when he had too much. He even deflected a couple of times by asking Senator Amy Klobuchar if she’s ever blacked out from drinking (that’s the same kind of respect he gave Renate), and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse if he likes beer, and he wanted to know “what he likes to drink.” That’s why you were there, Brett. To take drink orders from senators. Usually, people this defensive about drinking still have a drinking problem.
As he freely admits, Kavanaugh likes beer. After looking up the definition in Urban Dictionary, (don’t click that link) Oh my God, he really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes beer. My dad was a massive beer drinker and alcoholic to the day he died. He started and ended each day with a beer and went through a case daily, and I know he didn’t like beer this much. I have never heard of or thought of such a thing. Who would?
In case you didn’t click the link, I’ll put it this way; he likes beer to the point that he feels the need to administer it the way people administer hemorrhoids cream. Sounds like a good time, right?
Thankfully, Senator Jeff Flake was pressured to flake on Kavanaugh and demand an investigation into the charges against the alcoholic nominee of sexual harassment. The FBI, ordered by Trump, now has a week to look in on it. There were reports that they were attempting to interview people as early as late last night in California.
Hopefully, the information the FBI reports back keeps Kavanaugh off the Supreme Court and the Republicans in the United States Senate from giving us all a good boofing.
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