Troll

Conservatives and other assorted nutzoids were up to their tinfoil hats in anger this week as Facebook, YouTube, Google and Spotify banned the InfoWars conspiracy freak, Alex Jones from their platforms.

Alex was banned for all sorts of violations, which included posting “fake news” and just being an all-around troll (every conspiracy in this cartoon was created by Alex except two. I created those and I’ll let you try to figure out which two).

Twitter issued a statement in the form of a tweet, from their CEO Jack Dorsey explaining why they are letting Alex Jones stick around. In one of Dorsey’s tweets, he wrote, “Accounts like Jones’ can often sensationalize issues and spread unsubstantiated rumors, so it’s critical journalists document, validate, and refute such information directly so people can form their own opinions. This is what serves the public conversation best..”

Sensationalize issues? Unsubstantiated rumors? Was it sensationalizing to say that Sandy Hook was a hoax and nobody was actually murdered? Is it merely an unsubstantiated rumor that the FBI plotted the Boston Marathon bombing?

What the New York Daily News puts on their front pages is sensationalizing. When CNN reports that anonymous White House sources are saying the president is afraid his son is in legal trouble for lying and engaging in a conspiracy with a foreign power, that’s a rumor with some substantiation. What Alex Jones does is neither. The professional term in the journalism industry for what Alex Jones does is “bullshit.”

Dorsey wants critical journalists to “document, validate, and refute such information directly so people can form their own opinions.” But what those people usually do is scream “fake news” when a conspiracy is debunked, and cling to whatever makes them feel squishy inside about their confirmation bias. Just mention the word “Snopes” to a conservative and watch them lose their minds.

With that said, for the most part, Alex Jones has all the freedom in this nation to spout horse crap (with assorted lawsuits here and there). At the same time, Facebook, YouTube, Google, and Spotify have the freedom to kick him to the curb. They are not government platforms. They are businesses.

Conservatives need to get their outrages in proper working order. You can’t be screaming about a business not allowing Alex Jones to post his “opinions” (opinions should be based on facts, but we’ll argue that another day), but demand that the NFL force all their athletes to stand for an anthem. You can’t demand that social media platforms give equal service to conspiracy nuts while also arguing that a baker has the right to refuse to make a gay wedding cake. But, I bet if the customer wanted a green tinfoil-wearing troll on that cake, you’d demand the baker to make it.

For people who like to call liberals “snowflakes,” conservatives sure are a bunch of snowflakes.

Alex Jones has made a lot of money on bullshit. He’s rich. He’s not going to let this assault on his ability to profit off crapola go without a conspiracy. He’s blaming the ban on “deep state actors.”

I keep waiting for conservatives to boycott Facebook like they always promise. But they don’t. If they did, they’d be sure to post on Facebook how they’re boycotting Facebook. You’d think they’d be content with 4Chan, 8Chan, InfoWars, Breitbart, the Daily Stormer, and all the other assorted hate sites. I found out just yesterday they’re all over Instagram because they let me know they didn’t like my Trump Hollywood Star cartoon one bit.

But, they need to post where liberals, moderates, and other rational types will see them. It’s like that old saying; If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one around to hear a conservative call it a “libtard,” is that conservative still an unimaginative troll with an IQ lower than his sister’s shoe size? Probably.

Creative note, sorta: It is very unlikely that I’m related to Alex Jones. My dad’s story on who his father was constantly changed, so there’s a good chance I shouldn’t even be a Jones. Leave it to Alex Jones to destroy all the cool points I got from Indiana Jones.

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