Mr. Zuckerberg Goes To Washington

I heard a lot of people gripe about Mark Zuckerberg’s testimony before the House and Senate over the past couple of days. Most of their ire was directed at Zuckerberg. I’m not a Zucky fanboy, but I don’t think your anger should be placed on him. How about the codgers in Congress who don’t have a grasp on what Facebook actually does?

Keep in mind, this is a party whose president isn’t aware there’s already a rating system in place for movies. These people may not know how Facebook work but they know how the stock market works and half of them own a piece of Facebook.

Senator John Kennedy told Zuckerberg that he needs to dumb down the agreement policy so Facebook’s users will understand it. This, coming from a guy in a body where the majority of members don’t read their own bills. You could dumb down the Facebook user agreement so even Donald Trump could understand it and people still wouldn’t read it.

Ted Cruz used the opportunity to attack Zuckerberg for Facebook’s bias against conservative outlets and posts. Are you freaking kidding me? Facebook was the main platform Russian troll farms used to elect Donald Trump. Trust me. There’s not sabotage of conservative viewpoints on Facebook. What Cruz didn’t talk about was Cambridge Analytica, the firm that stole people’s information without their knowledge. He probably didn’t want to talk about it because he paid Cambridge over five million bucks for working on his campaign in 2016. Also, Ted Cruz is a sanctimonious piece of crap.

The funny thing is, the people complaining about their privacy being stolen are the same idiots constantly posting photos of what they’re eating, tagging their locations, asking you those stupid quizzes, like “are you old enough to know what this is?” next to a picture of an 8-track tape. Half these people are Four Square users, which is an app where the entire purpose is telling people where you are and what time, so now is a great time to break into their house.

The true verdict on how well Zuckerberg did is in the numbers. Facebook’s stock went up. The Facebook CEO’s personal wealth shot up $3 billion on the first day of his testimony alone.

If you’re wishing that Facebook goes down and complaining about Zuckerberg, and you’re doing all that on Facebook….uh, yeah. You’re probably that same person who tells everyone on Facebook that you’re leaving Facebook, but you never leave.

Sure, Facebook was in the wrong to allow a company to steal your info and then not say anything about it for a couple of years. But, you’re kind of a slut with your data anyway. Seriously, if you wanna stop being called a “bus stop hooker,” then stop hanging out at the bus stop so much.

Here’s the video.

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