Least Racist Person

Donald Trump likes to tell us he’s the best or most something of all sorts of stuff. Usually, it means he doesn’t know anything about the specific subject he’s addressing at the time.

He tells us how successful he is, and is a great businessman. He knows more about deal-making than anyone else. What he’s proven to be is a successful conman who’s declared bankruptcy multiple times. He’s been sued (and settled after saying he never settles) for conning millions from people’s life savings with his fake university, a “school” that gave business advice that went out of business. He’s displayed his deal-making abilities while agreeing on a “clean” bill with Democrats, only to have the Republican sitting next to him have to explain what a “clean” bill is.

He knows the most about NATO but would probably struggle to tell you what the acronym stands for. He knows the most about healthcare only to discover after he’s elected that it’s difficult. He knows the most about taxes which mean he’s really good at hiring other people to do his taxes. And, remember how he was going to hire the best people?

He knows more about ISIS than the generals (to be fair, the only general he knew at the time of that statement was Michael Flynn). He’s also told us he’s a “stable genius.”

Trying to kill the shithole controversy, Trump told a pool of reporters, “I am the least racist person you have ever interviewed, that I can tell you.” “That I can tell you,” is how you finish an untrue statement.

This “least racist person” nonsense is only a part of the dumbass defense Republicans are implementing over shitholegate.

Senators Tom Cotton and David Perdue, who were present for the comments, said they didn’t recall the president making those comments. Two days later, their amnesia is cured. Hallelujah! They swear the president never made those comments. The dumbass part of this is you’re supposed to believe two guys, who both want cabinet positions, who couldn’t remember but now remember.

Another dumbass defense is that we can’t trust Democratic Senator Dick Durbin because he’s a Democrat and a liar. Durbin’s story hasn’t changed while those defending the president have changed their stories. Durbin was the lone Democrat in the meeting, and he set himself up for everyone else from that room to call him a liar. Instead, Republican Lindsey Graham has backed him up, told Republican Tim Scott what Trump said, and even stated that his memory hasn’t “evolved” like his Republican colleagues. The biggest dumbass part of this is believing Donald Trump over anyone.

The next dumbass line of defense is the focus on the words. Republicans have even changed the word from “shithole” to “shithouse,” as though they don’t mean the same thing. They tell us it’s not a big deal for the president to curse in a meeting. They’re right. It’s not a big deal for the president to curse. What is the big deal is the racist sentiment, not the language. If Trump had excluded “shit” from his statements and said, “hey, we need fewer immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador, and Africa and instead, have more from Norway,” that would still be racist. Anyone using the defense over cursing isn’t mentally competent enough to have a discussion on the subject.

Another dumbass defense I’ve seen used, but not as much, is that “shithole” is a military terminology. As in, people in the military refer to the location of their deployment as a “shithole.” I don’t have a problem with service members talking that way. I’m not going to tell them they should enjoy the paradise of Fallujah. But this isn’t the issue any more than the cursing part of it. Trump has never been in the military. The meeting was not about military operations, nor was it a briefing with members of the military. It was on a domestic issue with politicians.

Then, there’s the dumbass defense Trump’s privacy was violated. This one is rich. Trump was aided in his presidential campaign by Russian agents leaking private emails. Trump asked Russia, publicly, to leak the emails. His son invited Russians into Trump Tower and was exchanging messages with Wikileaks. But Heaven forbid someone violates Trump’s privacy, which doesn’t exist in this situation. It was not a private meeting. It wasn’t on classified information. It was in the White House with United States Senators. Also, it’s a dumbass defense to say he didn’t say that and how dare you to reveal he said that. Republicans are all about privacy unless you’re hacking a Democrat’s email.

There’s another dumbass defense which shows the racism of the user. This is the defense that Trump can’t be a racist because, while not wanting black and brown immigrants, he’s cool with Asians. Also, “I like Asians” doesn’t mean you’re not racist toward them. For example: Forget her training, expertise, and field of study, “why isn’t the pretty Korean lady negotiating with North Korea?” That’s a dumbass/racism/sexism trifecta right there.

Another dumbass defense is to check how this is playing with the base while denying you said it. He never said that racist shit, but have you seen the glowing reviews from The Daily Stormer?

Finally, the grandest defense of dumbass defenses is that Trump is not a racist. Trump has stated many times he is the least racist person there is.

I know a lot of people who are not racist and I can’t recall any of them ever stating that they weren’t a racist. Maybe that’s because people who aren’t racist don’t have to tell you they’re not racist.

Also, out of all the non-racist people I know, I can’t think of any of them who are birthers, who said Mexico was sending us rapists and murderers, who placed a full-page ad in The New York Times calling for the death penalty for black kids who were exonerated of rape charges, said a judge of Mexican descent wasn’t qualified to preside over his lawsuit because of his race, called people “Pocahontas,” or ever said there were “very fine people” in a group of Nazis chanting “blood and soil” and “Jews will not replace us.”

I also doubt any of them have ever said all Haitian immigrants have AIDS or that African immigrants lived in grass huts. And, they’re rarely ever on the same side of an issue as Richard Spencer, David Duke, The Daily Stormer, etc.

When someone says they’re not a racist, they’re probably a racist. It’s kinda like when a sentence starts with “I don’t want to sound racist but” always finishes with something racist. Or, how “I’m not a racist” often finishes with “I have a black friend.” Combine that with the clue that someone is lying, which is “believe me” and ” that I can tell you,” and you have one racist liar.

Trump’s defenders claim liberals always play the race card and accuse Republicans of being racist in every argument. That’s not true. I believe Republicans like George W. Bush and Mitt Romney are out of touch with people who aren’t billionaires and maybe even with people aren’t white, but they’re not racists. John McCain isn’t a racist. I don’t believe every Republican is a racist. You can even be an asshole without being a racist.

I do believe every racist votes Republican. I also believe that racism is a non-issue for Republican voters. Nearly 63 million voters ignored Donald Trump’s blatant racism.

And, no. We don’t call you a racist on every issue. We do call you a racist when you do racist acts and make racist comments. If you want people to stop calling you a racist, stop saying and defending racist shit. Then, you may not ever have to say “I’m not a racist” ever again.”

Donald Trump is not our first racist president, but he’s possibly our most racist. While he’s not the least racist person we know, he can take comfort in being the “least” in a lot of other categories.

He is the least knowledgeable, the least qualified, the least informed, the least stable, the least competent, the least mature, the least likable, and the last guy you want your wife/sister/mother alone in an elevator with.

That, I can tell you.

Creative notes: Again, I’m drawing Klansmen. I felt self-conscious about it. I asked a colleague, who I respect, if he thought it was OK to use them so frequently. He’s the kind of guy who won’t tell me only what I want to hear. He’s been critical before and has a knack for it being constructive. He thought if the idea is strong enough, and with Trump’s constant racism, then I should go for it. I didn’t tell him the idea, but you can see how it played out.

I was saddened by the news of the death of Delores O’Riordan of the Cranberries. She had an amazing voice and was a huge part of the early 90s sound. So, tonight’s drawing music was the Cranberries…for a few minutes. Linger is a song that really gets to me. It’s beautiful and you can really feel the emotion coming out of the music and vocals. But, I realized it’s really the only Cranberries song I like. I know. Build my gallows high.

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